Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
