its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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