I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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