Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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