Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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