No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize