And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize