why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize