butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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