Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
