apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
