Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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