he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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