before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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