Sry I called you an 8
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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