So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
