yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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