You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
