hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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