My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
