He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
