I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
a search helicopter?!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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