oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
