Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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