RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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