One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
