my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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