Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
