Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
