But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
