Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
