maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
