I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Maybe he injected his testicle?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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