i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't deserve a penis
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
