D3 body, D1 cock
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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