Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize