Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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