i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize