This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
