just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Randomize
