I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
