Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
