we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
