I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
