the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
