Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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