great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
