You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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