i think i have herpe
just one?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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