He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
