no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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