No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
