HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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