you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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