Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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