If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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