Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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