im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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